Oh wow, that first page was great. I've looked it up in the past, but I always kind of felt like people would think I was just stupid, since it's normal for a lot of teenagers to feel the way I do sometimes. The phone part definitely sounds exactly like me, down to a t. I like how it also mentions that you may be extremely conscious of a body part of yours that you feel looks weird, because I have always been extremely embarrassed of how fat my arms are; I almost always try to wear sleeves. It gets really hot here in the summer, so I try to ignore the fact that my arms are bare, but I'm still always scrutinizing what I do with them- like, I'll never cross them in public without sleeves on because of the way they look. And the second page mentions the trouble with making eye contact- YES. IT IS SO HARD. I almost NEVER make eye contact with ANYONE I am talking to, no matter who they are at all. If I make eye contact, I feel like they can like, see my thoughts and judge me and stuff, so the second I look into a person's eyes, my mind just goes completely blank. Another thing I can't do is ask for help at shops like, ever. The biggest place is Barnes and Noble. It is the HARDEST THING IN THE WORLD to ask a clerk to help me find a book. If I can't find it myself, I'll just leave empty handed, even if I want the book more than anything. *sigh*
I don't think I have an extremely extremely severe case, because a lot of the physical symptoms don't apply to me (unless I'm getting up to talk in front of a bunch of people, in which case I feel like, all of them, but again, I think that's normal...?), but of the list of characteristics on the second page, I have SOMEWHAT low self-esteem (this stems from always being 'the fat girl,' though- it's all self image; I am confident about my abilities and who I am on the inside), I do have trouble being assertive (which is why I wouldn't ever make it a day trying to sell products for someone else), and EXTREME hyper-sensitivity to criticism (see my latest journal entry. x.X It got so bad when I was visiting my friend at Sheridan in October that, when she'd start drawing overtop some of my drawings to correct me, I'd rip the paper out from underneath her hands). I'm not particularly afraid of strangers (I think working as a peon helped this a lot- I say hi to the people checking me out at the store and stuff, and am generally very nice, although this is mostly because I know how much it sucks to be the one stuck behind the counter and want to give them an easier time), but like, ordering in a drive-thru is another situation entirely. I HATE going through the drive-thru- I'm always afraid I'll say something stupid or wrong, and then I'll drive up and look stupid after that or something, ugh. And everytime I leave my house alone, I always have to make sure I look my best; I could never drive up to the store in no makeup and sweatpants EVER, even if it was to buy like, a gallon of milk. Augh, nonono. And apparently not being able to initiate conversation is a sign of it- I can't initiate conversation, even on the internet. I actually had a former friend decide to NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN because I wouldn't IM him first- he griped at me and got me to promise to IM him first sometimes, and I just couldn't do it (I'm always afraid of bothering people), so he got all hostile on me ("You know what sucks? Supposed FRIENDS who break promises") and then blocked me, never to talk to me again. I just let him leave. I was like "You know what, I'm not going to apologize for something I can't help." So that was the end of that friendship.
I don't know. I hardly keep contact with ANY friends of mine from highschool anymore. I don't call people ever. I don't have any friends locally right now (well, I have one, but she's busy, so I'd never call her to interrupt her)... I'm actually kinda really lonely, and it's all my fault, but I can't help myself... you know?
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make that really long. o.o; It just kinda happened.
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I don't think I have an extremely extremely severe case, because a lot of the physical symptoms don't apply to me (unless I'm getting up to talk in front of a bunch of people, in which case I feel like, all of them, but again, I think that's normal...?), but of the list of characteristics on the second page, I have SOMEWHAT low self-esteem (this stems from always being 'the fat girl,' though- it's all self image; I am confident about my abilities and who I am on the inside), I do have trouble being assertive (which is why I wouldn't ever make it a day trying to sell products for someone else), and EXTREME hyper-sensitivity to criticism (see my latest journal entry. x.X It got so bad when I was visiting my friend at Sheridan in October that, when she'd start drawing overtop some of my drawings to correct me, I'd rip the paper out from underneath her hands). I'm not particularly afraid of strangers (I think working as a peon helped this a lot- I say hi to the people checking me out at the store and stuff, and am generally very nice, although this is mostly because I know how much it sucks to be the one stuck behind the counter and want to give them an easier time), but like, ordering in a drive-thru is another situation entirely. I HATE going through the drive-thru- I'm always afraid I'll say something stupid or wrong, and then I'll drive up and look stupid after that or something, ugh. And everytime I leave my house alone, I always have to make sure I look my best; I could never drive up to the store in no makeup and sweatpants EVER, even if it was to buy like, a gallon of milk. Augh, nonono. And apparently not being able to initiate conversation is a sign of it- I can't initiate conversation, even on the internet. I actually had a former friend decide to NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN because I wouldn't IM him first- he griped at me and got me to promise to IM him first sometimes, and I just couldn't do it (I'm always afraid of bothering people), so he got all hostile on me ("You know what sucks? Supposed FRIENDS who break promises") and then blocked me, never to talk to me again. I just let him leave. I was like "You know what, I'm not going to apologize for something I can't help." So that was the end of that friendship.
I don't know. I hardly keep contact with ANY friends of mine from highschool anymore. I don't call people ever. I don't have any friends locally right now (well, I have one, but she's busy, so I'd never call her to interrupt her)... I'm actually kinda really lonely, and it's all my fault, but I can't help myself... you know?
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make that really long. o.o; It just kinda happened.