LOL.

Well, this is a little late, but you know, better late than never:

How's THIS for a new year's resolution? STOP SUCKING SO MUCH! Jesus CHRIST I was looking at deviantART just now, looking over a bunch of 'then and now' comparison pictures of peoples' art, and I'm like "OMG, yeah, I know how that is, I've improved loads too." But here's what gets me- I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SHOW FOR IT! It's so RETARDED, because in my MIND I kick ASS, but like, on DA, my artistic skill looks like uhhh don't quit your day job. WTF I'M LAZY. I never finish ANYTHING! It's like ALL sketches! Or just something doofy. Or half assed. Or I don't know but I am TIRED of myself. I don't know what's wrong with me, but it just seems like I live from day to day, wasting my time. Procrastination.

Here's a perfect example- I have a commission to finish from a thousand years ago! It's huge, I don't want to do it (I'm over halfway done), and I really never did. I've been living beneath it for an entire HALF YEAR now, but I won't do it now because I'd pretty much rather gouge out my eyeballs. So there's the commission, just sitting there. If I'd suck it up and finish it, I'd like probably sprout wings and fly off to heaven to tapdance with Jesus I'd be so FREAKING HAPPY. But rather than do that, I let it weigh me down. RATHER THAN WORK ON IT, I go "Ohh... oh, I don't want to do that." But then inspiration hits me for art, and I'm like "Ohh... I can't do that. I have that commission to work on; I would feel like I was neglecting it." So... I run off and play Guitar Hero for an entire day. WHAT?! How does that make sense at all?! Oh my God I don't even understand myself, but that's how I've been LIVING MY LIFE since before I can even REMEMBER. JUST LIKE THAT!

I'M SO SICK. AND. TIRED OF IT! God I hate myself! What! I don't know how many of you are familiar with Freud (most people seem to have a general idea), but I like freaking let my Id control my life. I can't eat decently, I can't work decently, I can't take care of myself, I can't do ANYTHING but sit here and maybe eat or waste my time, because my Id is like "Feed me, I'm bored." or "relax. now." or "stress is for squares; goof off, you need a break." And my ego is like "omg okay Mr. Id, don't get too irrational... h-here, have summore potato chips." And my super ego... ....... Well, he's just plain always late for work. "... OH! Oh God, I'm here now, sorry, slept late again, OMG LOOK AT ALL THIS WORK! EGO, LET'S GET AT IT, YOU AND I NEED TO GET SOMETHING TOGETHER BEFORE TOMORROW MORNING! HOW COULD YOU EVER FORGIVE YOURSELF IF YOU TURNED THAT IN LATE?!" and ego's like "... ;_; B-but the id said..." and Super ego is like "WHO CARES WHAT THE ID SAID YOU'RE ABOUT TO LET SOMEBODY IMPORTANT DOWN!" and ego is like "... Where were you? Isn't it your job to take care of me?"

Whoah, haha. But yeah, you get my point. At this rate, I'm just going to end up living a half life, putting everything off to do til tomorrow til I die of a heart attack. Cool. NOT.

But anyway, the point of this post is my art. I need to quit being lazy. I love to sketch, and always lose interest in the coloring. No sir, not anymore. I just need to re-invent it. I need to figure out a way to color that looks good and makes me WANT to finish my stuff. The amount of things unfinished in my life is ridiculous. This has got to end. Now.