kaoru

So, its been a few months since this incident. I've seen the guy in the library since then... I generally avoided him like the plague at first, but after a while, I figured he got the idea because he never acted that way again. He still basically only knows MY NAME of the entire staff (even though I only work there part time and am only on the desk half of the time), and greets ONLY ME by name. Keep in mind he's my father's age, if not older. And I am almost 21, but I look under 18 still.

Also, he has a wife. Her name is Donna. He picks up her books the same time as mine.

He keeps. calling. to ask about books, right? Books he's got reserved. "For class." or whatever. And every SINGLE time he calls, it's always the same issue- "Well, you see, I wanted to reserve this *insert educational subject* book on CD, but it keeps reserving me the book instead. I want the CD." Seriously, we've gone through this THREE TIMES now, and SOMEHOW I am always the fucking lucky bitch that picks up the phone when he's on the other end.

So sigh. It's busy today, and I answer the phone and it's him. So I'm like "... great." So I'm super nice, I'm listening to allll of his bullshit (did I mention that my phone calls with him take at least ten minutes? A typical customer phone call lasts between 30 seconds to a minute, sometimes less than that), reserving allll of this crap (he'll keep trying to talk about something else, but I'll turn the subject around because people are at the front desk staring at me expectantly, so I'm like "is there anything else you need help with?" "Oh, yeah, this book, blah blah blah"). Suddenly, he asks, "So, seen any good movies lately?" As I'm reserving books for him, I'm like "Umm... no, I don't really go to the movies." And he goes "We should go to the movies!" I just laughed, like, I thought he was kidding. I was like "Haha. I don't know what's out; I don't even watch tv anymore." So he starts suggesting all of these movies. Then he goes "Are you interested?" I'm like "..." and I gave my typical "it's no big deal" laugh to cover up the "holy what the fuck" going through my head. I was like "eehhh, I don't want to go to the movies. Do you need anything else?" And so he's like "Oh yeah, blah blah blah..." So I'm requesting this other shit for him, and once again, he's like "No really, let's go to the movies!" And I'm like "There's REALLY nothing I want to see right now." He goes "Oh... haha, well I guess I'll just try again in a few months! Thanks for all of your help, Heather!" and I'm like "Er... yeah. No problem!" and hang up.

WHY. WHY CAN YOU NOT TELL YOU MAKE ME EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE. YOUR CHANCE IS NONE. ZERO. EVER. AT ALL. YOU HAVE A WIFE (unless her account is a lie... lol). GODDAMNIT. YOU'RE WEIRD.

After that, I refused to answer the phone for the rest of the day. When I hung up the phone, I went "CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY," so the people around me at the front desk were like "What...?" I told them that a guy my father's age had just attempted to ask me to go to the movies with him, and I got about 5 or 6 "o_O" looks from the peanut gallery. SO AT LEAST I KNOW IT'S NOT WEIRD TO THINK THAT'S CREEPY.

Seriously. SERIOUSLY. WHY.

So, in addition to touring Fullerton on Friday, thanks to Bethany's dad knowing one of the professors at Fullerton in the music department and him being generous enough to be a middleman for me, I've now been given the opportunity to meet with one of the head art professors at Fullerton.

This is GREAT, but I'm also SCARED. It's not that I don't think I'm worthy and that I won't flourish in the program, because I definitely think I will... it's just that the past few months I haven't really done anything. :| I have a few old things to show him, but the majority of what I have just isn't impressive, I don't think. Not to mention he's like "bring a recent sketchbook!" and I'm like "Fuck EVERYTHING, I haven't been keeping up with one." I mean, I have one, and it has decent sketches in it (lots of life drawing from last spring), but I haven't done anything recent... oh gods. The only thing recent I'm going to have to show him is a painting I plan to finish tomorrow in class and haul ass home to photograph and print out before we leave for the airport tomorrow evening...

Another thing that sucks is that I haven't done many things illustration-oriented in a while. Nothing really full color, with the exception of that painting (and a cartoony self portrait I'm debating on including). I've been AFRAID of color, quite frankly- I don't understand it fully, and I've been waiting to learn more in class or whatever, and subsequently have avoided it like the plague. LOL. So hopefully he doesn't mind a bunch of sketches and character studies... Oh fuck my psyche and the way it makes me suffer later.

I'm gonna leaf through my works later and put them together... I'm so nervoussssss. :| Any words of like, advice or whatever, would be great... From Terri, especially, lol, you always know how to make me feel more prepared for these things. XD;